Resources for Parents
is your son being called to the priesthood?
Many parents ask their children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Perhaps the more relevant question is, “What plan or purpose does God have for your life?” Parents, therefore, have a serious responsibility to assist their children to discern their unique vocation. The resources on this page are intended to help parents understand their irreplaceable role in discernment and to give some guidance.
Parents play an
indispensable role
in praying for their
children and helping
them seek the will of
God in their lives.
vocation?
The word “vocation” comes from the Latin root vocare, meaning “to call.” As we are created in God’s image and likeness, the generic “vocation” of every person is to love as God loves– loving God above all things and our neighbor as ourselves. This is further specified and fulfilled in two more particular vocations: the natural vocation to Holy Matrimony or the supernatural vocation to celibacy. Most are called to marriage and family life. Seminarians often admit they sense a desire for a wife and children. However, God has created some men to reflect on earth the wholehearted love of God, which we discover in the priesthood and consecrated life.
own call
You want the best for your son because you love your son. But God loves him more because your son belongs first to God. Parents play an indispensable role in praying for their children and helping them seek the will of God in their lives. It’s nearly impossible for you to know with certainty what God wants for your son. Your approval is very important to him, but you cannot decide your son’s future for him. It is important that you neither coerce your son in pursuing the priesthood because you want him to be a priest, nor discourage him from the priesthood because you want him to pursue another seemingly more successful path in the world.
important
If your son expresses an interest in the priesthood, be supportive. In the book To Save a Thousand Souls: A Guide for Discerning a Vocation to Diocesan Priesthood, Fr. Brett Brannen describes the ideal parent as one who is at peace with God’s will. The goal of entering the seminary is not to become a priest, but to pursue the will of God—which for most young men who enter the seminary, is the priesthood. College seminary provides the most conducive environment to discern the priesthood, including an atmosphere rich in silence, daily prayer, spiritual direction, and excellent formation in the virtues that transform a boy into a man.
Parents’ Perspectives
FAQ
Family members are always welcome. Weekends are more suitable times for visitation as the weekday schedule does not provide much spare time.
The college seminary is in Mt Holly, a short drive from central Charlotte. Our graduates advance to major seminary in Cincinnati, OH to study Theology and continue priestly formation. Upon ordination, your son will be assigned to a parish or other appointment in the Diocese of Charlotte.
Of course, you are welcome to call your son anytime! However, after Night Prayer, grand silence is observed with no unnecessary talking, music, or phone calls until after breakfast the following day. This time is used for study, prayer, and rest. Cell phones are placed on the front desk before Night Prayer and retrieved after Morning Prayer the next day.
The average cost of a college seminarian’s education is approximately $40,000 per year, including tuition, room and board, health insurance, and books. At St. Joseph College Seminary, the Diocese of Charlotte pays the room and board costs, one-third of their college tuition, and a modest allowance for books. The seminarian and his family are required to fund the rest of his college expenses, which could include scholarships, financial aid, and student loans. However, a lack of finances should never prevent someone from responding to God’s call to religious life or the priesthood.
Freedom is the foundation upon which vocational discernment is built. If a man is not free to leave the seminary, then he is not free to stay. The college seminary formation program is intended to be rigorous so as to test a young man’s resolve and determination to accomplish God’s will. Every aspect of seminary formation is also intended to provide support for the seminarian to discern whether God is, in fact, inviting him to lay down his life to become a priest. If a seminarian and/or the formation faculty have determined that a man is not called to the priesthood, he is free to leave the seminary.
Sometimes, discerning young men ask challenging questions that aren’t easily answered! Your son should feel free to direct these questions to his pastor, parish priest, the diocesan promoter of vocations (Fr. Brian Becker), or the diocesan vocations director (Fr. Christopher Gober). Young men who are more seriously discerning college seminary should contact Fr. Becker to schedule a visit to St. Joseph College Seminary. Spending a day at the seminary and interacting with our formators and current seminarians is one of the best ways to see life in the seminary is really like.